is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
