dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
