Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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