I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
