i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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