i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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