Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
is that a dick in a sweater?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
