I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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