please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
