I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
