Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
