Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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