you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
