i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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