I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
