He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
