Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
