I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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