I've blown a few things in my day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
