He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
