I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
