dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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