The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
