I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
