i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize