Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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