It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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