Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
