Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
