My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
