we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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