why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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