Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
