hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize