I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
