He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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