Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
