I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
