So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
