the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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