You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
