So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sarcasm needs its own font
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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