from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
