he puts the penis in happiness.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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