I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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