I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
