oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
