This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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