no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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