Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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