What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
