STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
