She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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