I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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