i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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