I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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