wanna go halves on a baby?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
