I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He better not be in your backpack
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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