? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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