ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
