If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
