At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
