so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
