i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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