**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He better not be in your backpack
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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