Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
