what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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