I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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