He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
