Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
