Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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