He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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