fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
