I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
