i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
