come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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