I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
