that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
