The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
