A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
