is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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