In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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